Thursday, August 29, 2013

Watermelon, An Incident, and Why the Melon in my fridge is a $10 Melon

Dear Mom,

I may be addicted to watermelon.
In fact, when watermelons disappear from the grocery store, I may have a problem.
I am not exaggerating when I say that I've averaged one whole melon every two days for over a month. Maybe two. Months, not melons. Our Brother, the Chef, taught me how to peel and dice a watermelon with virtually no melon wasted. I keep a big bowl of cubed melon in the fridge and snack on bowls of it all day long.
Last Sunday, when My Hero and I did our weekly shopping, we had an unfortunate watermelon incident.

There we are, casually leaving the store. My Hero is pushing the cart filled with our groceries in our re-usable sacks. The Watermelon is riding on the rack under the cart. Like most grocery store arrangements around here, the entrance/exit points at the store are clearly marked with STOP signs, speed bumps, and bright yellow hash marks on the asphalt for pedestrian safety. Despite the STOP sign, speed bump and bright yellow hash marks, My Hero was forced to stop suddenly to avoid being hit by the driver of the blue-gray van who failed to stop and probably only slowed down thanks to those speed bumps. Our Grocery Cart may have stopped abruptly, but The Watermelon did not. He kept on rolling..... right out into the street and under the blue-gray van. I clapped my hands to my face and squeaked "My Watermelon!" as I watched, in slow motion, the poor thing get crushed under those tires.
The Van never knew.  The people behind the van, and the people in the opposite lane of traffic all witnessed the Incident. I stood paralyzed on the sidewalk. My Hero proceeded to cross the parking lot and load the groceries into the car as if nothing happened.

Being the Watermelon Addict that I have clearly become, we immediately returned to the store to buy a replacement. Which means on Sunday we spent $9.98 on watermelon and only brought one home.