Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Pardon me, Ma'am

Dear Mom,
Earlier this week, I treated myself to my annual mammogram.
Enough has been said about the extreme squashing and the contortions involved and I will not add to that here. I will just say that, for me, it is not the Flattening, or the rib-poking-sternum-bending, relaxyourshouldersloosenyourgrip part that I find most difficult about the process. It is the command to "hold your breath" that bothers me the most. There is nothing like being told not to breathe that makes me suddenly need to hyperventilate.

Over the past few years, a few lymph nodes have decided to migrate to the warmth and comfort of the ma'ams. Typical lymph nodes are supposed to be kidney shaped and being that my lymph nodes (like my cheeks and my, ahem, cheeks) are round, I have had many extra pictures taken. A lymph node stalked. Like the paparazzi. I've had so many mammograms over the last year and a half that I actually found myself holding my breath during dental x-rays.

I have seen the same Mammography Tech, Ginger, so many times now that I ask for her. We talk about my knitting and where she is going on spring break. But most importantly, we have a Routine. We really work together and git 'er done. And this time we were able to get all the views we needed with only ONE "retake". And the Best thing is that all is well, there are no changes, and no new lymph nodes have taken up residence. No need to "follow up" in 6 months!
Ginger and I will have to wait a whole year to catch up.