Thursday, January 27, 2011

Thoughts at 50

Dear Mom,

Today, I am 50 years old. I am not sure which of us is more stunned by this. Probably you, because you remember that actual day.

I have to admit that the past few days (okay, week) leading up to today have been more emotional than I expected them to be. Not the turbulence that was 30, but not the empowerment of 40,either.
It is not the gray hair and wrinkles. Those are just natural highlights and laugh lines. Except for that crease just to the midline of my right eyebrow. THAT is a knitting concentration line. No, what is bothersome is the reminder. My chronological 50 does not match my inner 19. And there is no denying that there are more days behind me than there are ahead of me. (Because honestly, I don't think I'd want to live to be 100.) There is so much I want to do. I urgently feel that I am running out of time.

And yet, I am thankful. I've been blessed with loving parents, a family, and dear friends. I have the privilege of celebrating 50 years when there are many deserving women/wives/mothers/sisters/daughters/friends who never got the chance.

So if I seem a little weepy today, it is not that I mourn the years behind me, but that I appreciate them.

The Best is Yet to Come.

Love,
Kim



8 comments:

dls said...

What a nice note to your Mom. Only a very special daughter would think to say such lovely things. But, I'm sure all your mom's children are special as she is one very special lady.... I am thankful and blessed to know her.

PS: happy birthday.

Lizzie said...

Happy Birthday Kim, to be 50 (or 60 as in my case) in the 21st century is awesome, enjoy...
Lizzie
xxx

Anonymous said...

WELL SAID KIM. GOD BLESS YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Anonymous said...

Happiest birthday wishes for you, Kim! Your words and photos warm our hearts and encourage us each day. May the joy you give others come back to you a thousand fold today. And like Lizzie, believe me that whatever your age, this is THE best time to be!
Barb B.

merrilymarylee said...

Oh, you expressed it all so beautifully! I feel the inner 19, too... and if I look in the mirror right at my eyes, sometimes I can even see her, hiding deep inside.

I predict that you will love your 50's. You are quite amazing with all you accomplish, especially with Patsy under your feet.

Happy, happy birthday!!!

Perhaps we will meet this year!

Dianne@sheepdreams said...

Happy Birthday, Kim! I know how sobering it is to realize your life is more than half over (I'm ahead of you...ahem) and feel the rush of time, so we must resolve to live each day to the fullest, knit more and do what makes us happy!!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday, Kim! May you have a wonderful day and a blessed upcoming year! Enjoy!! ~ Suzy (Bonnie's neighbor with the really big dogs)

Bird said...

Happy 50th Kim! Beautifully said and I will feel the same in September. Loved the pics of you in Bonnie's blog entry (especially the last one). I hope your day was as special as you are.