Wednesday, November 3, 2010

My Absence Explained

Dear Mom,
I am still here. And these are the reasons why blogging has been put off. It is not, as Michelle feared, because I "dispatched myself with a knitting needle" after the disappointing Project Runway finale.

1) If I tell you I haven't had one single dessert, piece of candy, cookie or sweet in 10 days AND I gave up drinking soft drinks, will that be explanation enough? It should be. And no, I have not lost my will to live.

Actually, giving up on all that turned out to be mind over matter and the motivation of rather high triglycerides. Other than a wicked bad headache on  Day 4 it has been much easier that I thought it would be. I took the alcoholic's approach of One Day At A Time, especially with the Dr. Pepper (and boyoboy do I love my Dr. Pepper- ever since David Naughton danced around in those commercials singing I'm a Pepper wouldn't you like to be a Pepper, too?!), but I feel freed of my sugar addiction. I am not even tempted by the kid's Halloween candy.Yes, you can be alarmed and wonder who this is and what has she done with Kim.

I am saving myself for pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving.

2) The knitting I am doing is all Christmas knitting, and just in case, I don't want to ruin the surprise for anyone so I don't want to share too much of what I am doing.
Here is a peak though....
I spun and plied that yarn yesterday after taking Patsy to doggie daycare, giving myself a little piece of quiet.

3) P.A.T.S.Y.     Probably don't need to say much  more, except that I think she is still growing, is definitely stronger, and I can barely turn my back on her because she is finding some very inventive ways to be Naughty. More yarn has been sacrificed. Along with a toothbrush a can of cocktail nuts and godknowswhatelse. She can clean the plates in the bottom of the sink, but won't hang around long enough for me to teach her how to wash them. I believe our only safety zones have dwindled down to the insides of the microwave, oven and fridge. When she figures out how to open those, I probably will have to dispatch myself with a knitting needle. I would laugh if it weren't so frustrating. It would be easier to cry than laugh, but that won't help either. I've actually said the following OUT LOUD to her:

"Stop looking at me. I don't even like you right now."
"Don't you KNOW how lucky you are to be here?"
But Mostly I say leave it....leeeeeavvvve it. DROP. Off. Down. LLLLEEEEAVE IT. PatsyPATSY!!!

As if any of that is going to make her behave. My sanity is suffering. Obviously.

And as a side note- last weekend the Humane Society was offering free microchips. As I was filling out the paperwork for Patsy's chip, I was having an internal debate about the wisdom of this action- why would I want this beast returned to me if she were lost vs. because this is the responsible thing to do. And it was free. Anyway, she got her microchip and I didn't lie on the paperwork. If she were to get herself lost, her microchip will bring her home to us...... Yes. My sanity suffers.

And there in the midst of Humane Society Halloween Microchip-ing was this cat, wearing the best cat costume ever, and acting like a DOG. A well behaved dog.)

Puss in Boots

 I didn't witness it, but the word traveling like wildfire from human to human was that this cat did tricks and could High Five. I got outta there before Patsy got comfortable enough to be Patsy, and before she could figure out that all those little things in costumes were other dogs and cats.

So that is it in a nutshell. I am here, adjusting to life without Dr. Pepper and dessert, chasing a dog with something in her mouth that shouldn't be around my dining room table but still knitting as much as possible.



Melissa said...

Okay, I think it must be true: we must be twins separated at birth--I am on day four without sugar. (This is the easiest way for me to lose weight. And dang it, I need to.) It's killing me, but I will stand strong. Keep me updated, girl!

Dianne@sheepdreams said...

Oh my! All that frustration going on and no sugar relief in sight. I do admire you and I'm trying to motivate myself to do the same before the holiday sugar frenzy starts. (and it's diet coke with lime that I need to eliminate)

Christine said...

I almost peed my pants when I got to the part about the microchip. I have had numerous days when I asked myself why I had our beagle chipped and wondered if I could change the address. LOL

Anonymous said...

Oh Dear! Can't you do diet Dr. Pepper?

Is Patsy still living in the house because your HUSBAND has been relegated to the dog house?

Michele said...

Just home from the Big Show, thoroughly exhausted, and had to tell you..........I thought of you. I saw these precious, wild, colorful Bakelite buttons. I figured they would make a lovely little surprise for my friend Kim. Then I turned them over.

The price was $125.00. Do you get where this is going?

I hope it is enough that I WANTED to get them for you. I also wanted them for myself. Well, we must both be disappointed, at least this year. Maybe one of these days when I strike it rich.

Loved the cat costume. Michele

lapdogknits said...

Wow, your knitting is beautiful and you seem to manage wearing many hats - can I send you my Christmas knitting projects to complete because I'm certain they'll turn out beautiful???
Funny blog to read - wishing you a good week

Birdie said...

Merrrily said I should leave this comment even though it was not timely. Twice in recent weeks my daugher-in-"The Village" (NYC, is there another?) awoke to find the freezer door open!!
she has a small but real size refrigerator, one for a "studio" kitchen with the freezer on top and some cabinets above that. she puts junk on top of refrig and you can barely see the cabinets. She began to wonder who else was living in the apartment with her. her doors were locked.
the cat was opening the freezer?? yes indeed it was true, evidently K. cat in her nocturnal wanderings checks out all cabinets for perhaps hidden stashes of cat food. when she is up on top of the frig, which she gets to by jumping up on the counter, ( not allowed) thence to the top of microwave (not allowed) then to the top of the freezer. somehow when she is pushing off to go up to the top cabinets (I guess) she uses the indentation between freezer and door--where the rubber seal is --to get a good base to push off from and it opens the freezer door.
who 'd a thunk it?