Tuesday, March 24, 2009


Dear Mom,
You will be relieved to know that today, after a clueless 2 months, and an alarmingly aware 3 days, I am no longer driving with an expired license. They didn't even scold me at the BMV, so I'm guessing this happens a lot.
They were also really quick. I had all that yarn to knit and only knit about 14 stitches before I was out of there.
If forgetting to renew isn't alarming enough, for the first time EVER I missed a letter on the vision test.
The photos are now logged in with some facial recognition software, so "you can smile, but don't show your teeth". I don't know how to do that so I didn't smile. Plus if I ever got pulled over and had to hand my driver's license to a police man, I don't think I would be smiling anyway. This facial recognition trick is supposed to prevent identity theft but I suspect it is some kind of Homeland Security thing.
And then I saw the face of a middle aged woman looking at me on MY driver's license. With a wrinkled neck. And maybe even an extra bit of chin or sagging jowls. I am going to pretend that when I smile all of that disappears. I do not think I can wear turtlenecks all year round, but I sure wish I wore one today. I do notice that my "tinted glow enhancer" seems to be doing its job under my eyes, so I take what little comfort I can in that.
Departing the BMV, an old coot seemed to think if he tried t-boning me into the right turn lane I would move faster or get out of his way. I stopped and gave him my best "I just saw how old I look on my driver's license so don't you be messing with me MISTER, and besides it is Ladies First" look and then took my time to make my turn safely. I didn't want to have to present my fresh license to a police man so soon.


Anonymous said...

I think you look HOT!

I'm gonna tell Mom! said...

I think My Hero left that comment.